I am in a really depressive state. I feel so awful. I'm just crying and having really bad thoughts right now. My cheery self is gone at this moment. The job I got I'm really embarrassed by it and I just can't continue it. My family wants me to but I just can't I'm crying really bad right now I just can't do it. I feel so stupid. Why am I not where I want to be? Why do I have to be here? I wish I could start over. I fucked up too much. I am really just failing. My family view me as a quitter and a burden. I don't know what to do. I am just awful.